From the beginning of March I knew something was wrong. I had the flu. I had a slight fever, a cough, and a sore throat. By March 9th I told friends that I was being cautious. I cancelled classes. I kept an eye on the news. I slept a lot. I could not, and have not been able to write. I don’t seem to have the energy to think critically. This virus has zapped my energy. It has depressed me physically, emotionally and spiritually a little too. There have been days that I felt so weak, I was unable to move one foot in front of the other. There were days when my chest felt very heavy and my rib cage felt very constricted. There were days when I was really scared that I might have to go to a hospital. My greatest fear was that if I went to the hospital, I would never come back. At my son’s direction, I called a tele doc and got a prescription, for cough medicine and an inhaler. Despite my symptoms, I was not allowed to test for the virus because I could not verify that I had been exposed. Thankfully, the heaviness in my chest subsided a bit. My rib cage stopped feeling so tight with every breath. Still whenever I stood from a seated position, I would become so dizzy I felt I might fall. Finally, almost a month after I first felt ill, I qualified for testing. At the testing site, I sat in the car with my husband. With masks on, he waited with me in line so I could do the oral swab. Now we are waiting again. After a week, I have no results. I continue to quarantine as this virus continues to alter my life and the lives of those around me. I don’t care so much about the quarantine. I love the blue sky, the birds chirping and the sounds and smells of a cleaner, brighter Los Angeles. Some days it has been nice just to sit in the backyard and look at the beautiful clouds overhead. I have a great respect for the life force. I have a great respect for this virus. I want to live. So does the virus. Indeed, after 6 weeks there are still days that I feel heaviness in my chest. There are still days that I feel tightness in my ribcage when I breathe. Today I am tired. I have a sore throat, the telltale dry cough, and dizziness whenever I stand. Yet, as I write this the sound of sirens whistle through my neighborhood as a constant reminder, that I am one of the lucky ones. I am definitely one of the lucky ones. I have a home, a loving husband, and an incredible body that has gently fought to bring me back to good health. Now, especially now that I am relatively well, and getting my strength back, my social responsibility is clear. My case is mild, still this has been a long journey and I do not wish this on anyone. I must do everything in my power not to pass this along. I will not be the bullet that rips through someone else’s life. And while this experience for many of us has been about fear, for me it has also been about love. I love and appreciate so much about my life, about my husband, my friends, my family and the people in my community. I love and appreciate all of you, and I truly want to be of service. So, I will continue to quarantine. I will continue to wash my hands. I will continue to go out only once every two weeks to buy groceries. And when I must go out, I will wear a mask in public and use social distancing. I will do this for as long as it takes because I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that I appreciate the blessing of this life and the blessing of you in this life with me. Be safe out there. Please take good care. I love you, Adrienne

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