When you come to your senses, put down your defenses, habits, cover: I-won’t-show-you-mine-if-you-won’t-show-me-yours, ‘Everything is F.I.N.E.,’ (fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional), like traveling in a car, stopping at the drive-through, throwing leftovers in the back, you keep moving, trash piling up, rotting, just over your shoulder. And forgetting it’s there, get used to the smell, the festering of mind, farting from the back seat, but the moment you slow down, put on the brakes, everything comes flying forward, French fries, fish sticks, uneaten hamburger and half-downed cokes, McCrap on the dash board, in the windshield, wreckage of your past, so thick you’re blind. Kharma, like mud, obscuring your view. You have to clean up, if you’re going to proceed, get your life, have your day in the freaking sun. You’ve got to unload, get a grip, a view of the road, without all this drama, garbage, making the way unclear, it’s clearly in the way. And because it’s in the way, it is the way. The giving up, the surrender to, the letting in letting go, releasing, a panorama where there were once blinders, hell, no view at all. Pick it up, every smelly bit, examine it and highlight for deletion. An Everything-Must-Go-Sale at the Dumpster. When the view is wider, the screen clear of mind, wipers keeping it open, each stroke of the blade, becoming, ‘Name something you like, Thank you more please, Name something you like, Thank you more please, Name something you like, Thank you more please, Name Something … you like … more please … you like … more please … you like … more please … you like … more please … you like … more please … you like.’
Standing on solid ground, the known, so-called reality, before you the abyss. Hesitating, unsure. F.E.A.R., (Fuck Everything And Run), behind you, in front of you the unseen, unknown, yet to be spoken. This leap, madness or genius, the extension of nowhere, your legs, arcing through space and time, coming from somewhere, spanning through nowhere, you are now here. Right now. Here. In the leap, the faith, you become tangible. Real. Realized. Free falling in the gap, the span of nothing, the leap; causation. Free. Our lives, history, his/her story, our ordered chaos, death. But in the nothing, no thing, the gap, the leap. In that space, between here and now, the space of no thing and all thing existing, in that placement, or lack of placement, is possibility. You have to leave the earth, (the small strip of land allotted to you at birth that you must till, until you die), you have to achieve lift off, become air born, jump, into what is not known, to know something new. In that moment, in the not knowing, the trusting, that becomes opportunity. Take the leap. Fucking jump.
When you understand that the mind is predatory and that you are its host, not like some eco-friendly-birdie-atop-a-hippo-mind-predatory, but like water-moccasin-leeches-man-eating-alligators-in-the-Louisiana-Swamp-Mind-Predatory, then you truly realize, real eyes, that your mind will drain the life-blood from you. Get out of the swamp, wade to shore, before the gators dive and pull you under, disprove the mind, wrangle its scaly ass and burn its tyrannical nature, into submission. When you’re safe from the death grip, aware, awake to the state of grace in which you live, the precious commodity which is your life, build your campfire, dip into source, the bliss state, grateful to be alive. Deactivate the mind and re-wire that sucker, by creating balance, the kind of nature/nurture balance only a spiritual warrior can, so that the predatory mind weakens, and your being, alert, adaptable, present becomes one, aligned, ready for battle, ready for joy.
Storytelling/Meaning Making: Taking the elements of life’s story, the plot pieces and making meaning from them that grows you, takes you from victim of circumstance to empowered storyteller, able to expand and see yourself involved in events for the purpose of growing you. There is a warning that you don’t ask to grow patience for fear that you be delivered lots of frustrating circumstance. But if you see the frustrating circumstance as that which enables you to grow the muscular structure to have a better life due to your amazing patience, be a stronger person, or just plain enjoy yourself more, why not change the meaning so you are satisfied, happy, content, expanding, surfing the waves that life delivers knowing that its all done for you, not to you?
If you have some outcome, end goal in mind, you may be missing the journey. Now is all we have. And in that present awareness, awareness of the present, what will you do, for yourself, for other? How will you serve the vastness of the realm that is you, your loved ones? Will you hold space, despite outcome, bad behavior, will you love yourself no matter what? Will you smile, laugh, cry, go beyond your most maximum, with an open heart, a strong spine and love, truly love, the pain, heartache, refusal, disavowal and the mirror? Look, deeply inside. See that which is you, your essence. You are home, not the place, but the being. You are love.
You say to yourself, ‘I’ll be good, done, successful, perfect, calm, excited, able to relax, on to the next, happy, when I get that job, girlfriend, promotion, new bike, car, friend, award, relationship, acknowledgement, my first million …’ And it doesn’t satisfy. Because the destination is only pointing to the journey, the process, the growth possible, not expected outcome, but unexpected expansion of self. You are the end goal, your willingness to reach, struggle, resist, scream, complain and yet, persevere. You are the result. You are the glorious never-ending love of adventure, possibility, transcendence, transmutation, evolution and light. YOU.
What you choose to see is what you choose. When you focus on that which is grateful, abundant and rich in your life, you get that. When you see the wisdom of this earth, the is-ness of all creatures, including yourself, performing as being, which is excellence, when you create that which aches to be birthed, convenient or not, when your concentration is on other and being of service in this world, then, then dear ones, there is life, transcendence, and the choice to choose that which is brilliance, that which is truly life affirming, life giving, life.
We all have it. That certain something. The light, music, vibration, echo of being-ness, indescribable, sets us apart, and binds us in life and death as human, sensate, expanded or not, brilliant, messy, shining examples of purpose, creating nations, children, wizards, idiots, fleeting fancies and half-witted dreams. All deliverance, emphatic realizing of ourselves, our essence, the delicious imperfection that resists and presses on, failing, falling forward again and again, the journey, sweet sweet trial that is life. You are that. You are the something, the light, the music, staccato, indescribable being.
When you live in a box, you live by the rules. Written on the inside. Sharpie, pencil, pen, printouts line the cardboard walls. ‘Don’t do this, don’t do that, hate this, resent that, judge her, avoid that, appease him, resist that.’ All fear. Self-imposed. Bullshit. Jump out of the box. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Your life is on the other side. Jump out of the fucking box. Get your life. Fuck your feelings. Jump!
The trick of the mind is that in an attempt to go unseen, undetected, it puts up blinders. You’re blind to what’s in front of you, you’re blind to the blinders! Insidious, really. But when you know you are blind, you begin to see, see the blindness and in seeing that, learning to feel your way in the dark, begins the awakening, seeing the blindfold, getting a peek beyond, beyond the mind, to choice. Real choice. Not knee jerk reaction from past history, but possibility of what’s in front of you. And that means for a blind person, you will be seeing a lot.
Off with the sunglasses, look in the mirror, no tough love, just love. Say as you rub your cheeks, ‘Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Me.’ Its true. You are beautiful. You are everything, everything you need, desire, everything the world enjoys. ‘Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful Me.’ Say it again and again. Because when you say it, ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Wonderful’ become you. And when they become you, they become me and becoming you and me, they become all. So that I bow to you, myself, all, because you are beautiful, I am beautiful, because you are wonderful, I am wonderful, because you make my life what it is truly meant to be. Namaste.
Throwing your hat over the wall. So much at stake, on the other side. Your whole life. Can you see the wall, the brick, cobblestone, wrought iron, and the hat, the nap, color, how it crests the air? The shape, feel of it arcing, again and again before it disappears? You are the human net, the promise, new life, new world. One in every three, 1 billion rising, holding space, taking each other’s hands, learning to dance, be, part of this vital new awareness, that is you, in each other’s eyes, everywhere. You are all that.
Charlie Chaplin, Keystone Cops, Phil Silvers, Victor Borga. Silly, the ability, the rarity. Seriousness imploding into madness, release of reason, tension, idea, mind, turning self on it’s head. The Walter Mattheau, George Burns, Russell Howard, Eddie Izzard kind, answer to the question, purpose, joy, remuneration, transcendence, all that nonsense, (non sense), rearranging dna, cria, crying, laughing, deliverance into the divine, being-ness. Silly, saving grace, craving space, reprieve. Silly ten times. Again.
Love is the gift that you give to yourself. Love is you. When you see love over there, its because its in here. Love is not what you give to other so you can get it back. Its not a hot potato that you toss quickly to other hoping not to get burned. Love is what you give so that you might receive it. Not from other but from you. You are love. Love is as love sees. Seeing love is receiving it. In the giving is the receiving. Love is the gift that you give to other that in the giving you receive. Love is the gift that you give to yourself. What gift are you giving you today?
You are the vortex. Feet firmly planted on the ground, spine reaching toward the heavens, arms outstretched to the ethers, the divine, a spiral of continued motion, e-motion, sensate, pulsating, nodding within and without. You are the swirl of energy cascading from source. You. Your being. Your holiest of holies. You.
The whole of humanity depends on today. The entire human race, its future is you. Your actions, awareness, compassion. Wake up. Its now. Right now. Not another minute, another instant in the distraction of petty tyrants, blaming, resenting, tantrums. Wake up. Snap out of it. You are the savior, the healing balm, surfing the world, our species waiting for you to be responsible, to each and every moment, be present, care, shine your being-ness on the tawdry battlefield. You are what we’ve been waiting for to save the world. Your light. You are the hero. Happy fucking Fourth of July. Wake the fuck up!
Out in Sedona they talk about paradigm shifts like popping after dinner mints. All that mind’s idea. Until it happens. Insides heat up, dizzy, throbbing consciousness, every cell of you expanded, contracting, you’re struck hyper present, aware out there in the desert, the painted hillsides, a citadel of pink, looking like the place to dive, plummeting into the void of second sight, altered. Dead to self. At last!
Its that time again! The grateful list. Join me won’t you? Snowflakes, harvest moon, a child’s smile, sun against the window pane, Chewbacca, Darth too, wind, rain, weather of all kind, dandelions gone to seed, amethyst, garnet, moonstone, lichen, 400 year old oak tree, baby elephants, hyenas, giraffes, blarney stones, Game of Thrones, waking in the morning, cold tile, hot chai, meditation, ohm, sleeping with the lights on, sleeping with the lights off, kisses, blown or otherwise, toadstools, umbrellas, waves curling, unfurling, sagebrush, lavender, the way your eyes look right into me, love.
When you see beautiful over there, it means there must be beautiful over here.
This theory, concept, thought, idea, mind, ego, wall, barrier, cant do that, shouldnt, have no business, dont know, cant see, wish I was anywhere else, failure, less than, idiot, someone’s hand grasping, dead weight, holding on, pulling me under like a drowning man and I’m dead. Shit. That’s some planet, some gigantic intergalactic cantankerous collection of garbage, sucubous, like an ancient entity, devised to seek and destroy; the Undertoad. Sucking the dead terrain out of me, bringing it alive. One big cosmic asshole. Let go. Loosen the grip, one finger at a time and the Undertoad blinking dust from its mouth, mis-appears. Just like that. One breath, one release. Cria, awakening, grace, relief, holding space for ‘wonderful, wonderful, wonderful me’ naming something I like, naming and claiming again and again until the room, my heart, my eyes, realize (real eyes) joy. That’s the practice, the enticement, the charm, creation of: Life. Faith. Love.
What happens when your mother, father, family, friends, therapist, co-workers, disavow you? Do you still exist? Despite and maybe because of their inability to see, hear, understand, grasp, confront, allow, can you retain that which the universe grants? Can you grow the muscular structure to be? Will you claim your right to your individuality? Rising beyond the lie of the mind to risk being you? Receiving what the world lovingly offers as lesson, always done for you, and be of service? Are you up for it?
This is it. No where to go. No where to hide. This moment, this now, the present, stuck in the middle of yesterday and tomorrow, your chance, your opportunity to change everything, past, present and future. There is right here, you, me, the wave, the ocean, the all-and-nothing-possibility of everything, now. Right now. Do it. Jump in. Love. Be radical. This is it.
New little kitty, black like a panther, lies curled up, her whole body radiant with joy. When I pet her she purrs, stretches so I can scratch her belly, every inch of her expressing, ‘thank you, life is so good,’ and because she says so, it is so. What she sees, she believes, what she believes, she be lives.
What if we forgave the wrongdoers, allowed them to confess, ask for help and healing? What if the penalty for coming clean about shame and guilt was to be told how wondrous and important we really are? What if a crime was answered by storytelling and meaning making that focused on the magnificent moments past, present and future of each of our lives until we were transformed, re-aligned with our original purpose? What if we granted being-ness like that? To ourselves and others? And what if everyone spoke their truth? Came clean, stepped away from shame and resolved the guilt? What if we were allowed to admit the wrongdoing and move on, realize (real eyes) individual worth, valuableness within the community, the city, country, the world? What if we lived MORE LOVE?
My father speaks to me, like wind, rain, fire, air, he whispers in my ear, tells me to keep going. ‘Speak your truth. Find your voice, and never, never stop. Tell the world. As you speak me in and out of existence, free my spirit from the shackles of this guilty, shameful jail of mind. Beyond rules and laws, beliefs and concept, the is-ness of us, our relationship points the way. Affirming the sins of the father must be spoken and released in love, as we are.’ I see him bow. Head below heart and in full honor, I rise. Will you stand with me? Do you dare? Your life is waiting. Stand.
If there were no secrets, nothing off limits, there would be no neurosis! Hiding is the creation of dis-ease. Revealing is healing. Speak. Tell. Use your voice. Heal the world.
I have seen the prairies, walked along the ice floe, watched it disappear. I have heard the egrets winging, felt the morning sun kiss the day. I have watched the eagles nesting, seen the meadow overrun with flower, smelled the mustard seed blooming, knelt inside the hollow of a rock. This land before me sends me dreaming, when the heart was free and our souls danced. I have loved you all before me, heard your heart beat, felt you breath. You and I have known forever, past the veil and back again, you are the one. Touch my face and hold me close, no separation from this earth. Cascading through the forest, brooks and streams you fill this life with love. Thank you moon and stars, let my life honor yours.
What we per-ceive, we re-ceive, con-ceive, see, believe. What we believe, we be, live, are. What will you perceive, receive, conceive, see today? What will you believe? What will you be, live? What will you be?
When the challenge comes, face it head on, knowing that it is there to grow the muscular structure for you to realize your hero-ness. The molestation was done for me, not to me. I am no one’s victim. I am one claiming victory, keeping the baby and throwing out the bathwater. Holding on to the memory of my amazing father, while having my truth, the ultimate healing of self and those around me. Because in this life we are all connected and if you do that which scares you most and get our life out it, so will I.
You are 100% light, being, source. Claim that, your highest individuality, your right to that and create a wave, so powerful that the evidence of impact within and without is palpable. You, 100% light, realizing your light, the love emanating from you, the force, the magnitude surrounding you, me, this universe, one verse, shining, spectacular. You are all that. All the time. Always. All ways.
What would the world look like if you loved yourself unconditionally? What if you loved yourself no matter what? Regardless if you failed, succeeded, finished, stopped, chose, or chose not to? What if you loved yourself despite what anyone had to say about you, especially what you had to say about you? What if you loved yourself without conditions? What would the world feel like, be like? What if you expanded the allowing, as to embrace everything you ever did or didn’t do, and accepted it all? What if you loved yourself like that?
If you need unconditional love, acceptance, approval, acknowledgement, attention, creative fire, deliverance, reprieve, grace, motivation, heart, home, shelter, understanding, warmth, peace, quiet, rest, desire and love, give them. In the giving, you get. Because you are everything, everything you need, magnificent, evanescent, startlingly imbued with spark and source, the enormity of all creation. You are the divine. You, superb being, you are all.
When a thought form triggers an unpleasant emotion, that feeling, like a GPS, is telling you that that thought form is unpleasant. The feeling is not your life, its not that you’re having a bad day, no, you’re having an unpleasant thought, or one that is making you uncomfortable, angry, unhappy or sad. That feeling is telling you to stop creating the thought form and move to another more interesting, exciting, loving, happy, inspired thought form, one that is better programmed to bring you joy, which is the natural state of your being. The feelings you are having are the necessary alert to your system that you need a course correction. Time to walk down another street, mentally, plant a few flowers, smell a few roses, name that which you like, until your feeling tone rises. Because the point of this existence is the reflection of the natural organic statehood, which is beingness, which is love.
WHEN THE LOVE YOU ARE GETTING IS CONDITIONAL, CAN YOU GIVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? CAN YOU GIVE OTHERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THOSE AROUND YOU LOVE WITH CONDITIONS? CAN YOU STOP USING LOVE AS POWER (MANIPULATION, really) AND POWER (really MANIPULATION) AS LOVE? CAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY, CAN YOU HOLD THAT KIND OF SPACE FOR YOURSELF? DO YOU DARE RECEIVE A LOVE THAT IS FREE OF THE NEED FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN? ARE YOU READY FOR THAT KIND OF FREEDOM, THAT KIND OF LOVE.
Abundance is as abundance sees. When you see abundance that’s what you get. We create our own planets on this plane of action. The energy of thought, matter, amassing, connecting to a gravitational pull, that swirls, inviting more of the same. An atmospheric phenomenon of abundance. The trick is to see what pleases you, see it as often as possible, which enables more of that. Thank you more please is not the model, its the result of maintaining the seeing, becoming believing, which actually creates abundance, joy, bliss, love. MORE LOVE.
You are here to save the world. Not kidding. That’s the mission. That’s the light you are. When you commit to being you, the 100% light which is the vibration, energy, resonance, frequency, sheer delight, awareness, joyfulness, bliss and total freedom (free from being dumb, dumb being asleep to the magnificence that is you) chalices will overflow, heavens will open, mountains will majesty and all of creation will bow. Because you, that which is your divine human-ness, is here to save the world. Ready? Lets roll!
Thick, like pea soup, the energy, laden, the stakes, high, life or death, always, all ways. You risk your life, jump into the abyss, no light at the end of this tunnel, the only way around is through, so you go, blind into the dark night and disallowing hope, because hope is for fools, you press up against it, lean into the fear, raw, like an open wound and see if you can see yourself, the ember that is you, the courage, resilience and knowing of the triumphant being, transcendent, victorious warrior of light and love that is you! Its you. You’re awake!
Imagine a mother ignoring her child. Imagine that mother, afraid, alone, without the courage to look. Imagine the child speaking after thirty years of silence. Her mother, so accustomed to looking away, disavows her child, re-enacts the drama, re-issues the hurt by refusing her yet again. Life shows up and the challenge is to be happy. Being alive is possibility, opportunity to grow beyond your most maximum self, beyond the ignorance, the fear, disavowal and hurt. Go beyond the lie of the mind and embrace the miraculous of knowing that nothing is done to you, its all done for you. That in the resistance of, you are strengthening the muscular structure, which grows you, your hero-ness. Because you are all that. You are all hero!
On this Memorial Day weekend, lets remember who we are. Worthy, Delightful (filled with light), Remarkable, Thrilling, Hilarious, Responsible (able to respond), Trustworthy, Caring, Courageous, Proud, Deliberate, Open, Fierce, Loving, Enormous Beings. Thank you more please.
In this dance, the man/male energy holds the space. The woman/female energy moves. He watches. She spins, circles, leaps, winds herself around and he is firmament, earth, the stake, source around which she motions, beckons, excites and arches through the immoveable; the invested, deep longing and strength which is male. This dance of nature, water, flowers, trees, seedlings, planted, nurtured in the man/woman of horizon, impregnation, desire of birth and delight in the wave, is held, caressed by the shore. No resistance, only joy in the repeating of the magnificent polarities, the life force in the struggle, push/pull of the divine masculine, the divine feminine. The discourse of man’s seed and woman’s opening to express life.
In dealing with tigers, its important to remember to put them in the cage, not you.
In order to release someone in love, you have to fall in love with them first. That means if its an absentee father, or an angry mother, an abusive parent, or a neglectful mate, you actually have to open your heart to them, find what you can that is loveable before letting them go. Releasing them out of spite, wont do. Its not releasing at all. In fact, the attachment of anger, hatred and inevitable resentment becomes so severe as to keep you bound, earthbound, treading water, gasping for air, unable to breath. Because hurt, pain, frustration, needing to be right, victim, outrage, accusation, is not release. Love is release. Love is allowing. So regardless of if its hurts, you open your heart, your being and you hold open your arms to those few things, the one birthday card, the time she stopped and noticed your pretty hair, or the flowers he brought on the first date, or the time she cried when she had to say goodbye and you pour your soul into that one important brilliant moment, you bless and kiss and thank them for being. And then you can say goodbye, in love with them, you say it. And of course you weep, heart open. But because you loved them first, and have let them go, in letting them go, you keep them. All that they were, all that they gave you with the love that they had, you keep that. When you release in love, you release them to their greater good and you grow the love in yourself, you become MORE LOVE.
Its all done for you. No matter how hard it hurts. Especially when it hurts. Like the hell that it is, building the muscular structure, the resistance of, the pushing against which grows and expands me, deeper, bigger than I know to be. Thank you for the gatekeeper, that I might recognize the strength, that in his desire to keep me out, is the admission that I am fearsome, because he felt the need to build the gate. And then I am that. That fearsome, powerful being.
This drama, a story, told, creating whirlwind, the troops lockstep, threaten and rail against the semblance of a life lived, identifying pieces of themselves and stand in a war, hoping to derail the teller, but the story is. It lives, breaths and takes wing with the meaning we make. What meaning are you making today? Are you a victim, villain, savior? Or are you choosing joy?
Vertigo. The past, moving toward the future so fast, stuck spinning between them, as if what you knew, presses up against what you know and because the floor is no longer the floor, but the possibility of a trajectory so changed, you can’t get your footing. You steady yourself, trying to locate time and space, as all dimension evaporates and the you you were, are, going to be, is the dizziness, the download of a present knowing, like a paradigm shift, an earth quake, mind quake. Hold on. This game changer, life changer, creation, manifestation, gift is a love offering. Hold on to it like your life depends on it. It does.
Whatever your dream, dream it, because you are practicing showing up. Show up. Commit to one dream. Start with the small one. The one you can see yourself doing. Practice seeing yourself accomplishing and add your heart. See you committing and showing up for the audition, Oprah, the whales, whatever you dream, see yourself. Watch what happens when you make a commitment and you show up. Watch what happens when you don’t. Watch the programs run. Identify the download and do it again. You’re practicing Man/Woman of Commitment. And in practicing you are actualizing. Doing it. Being a person of your word.
You feel the pull, the sweetness of the bow as it tenses, the sound of wood flex, a knocking, then whirr as the arrow spins, arcing over moon, past cottonwood, owl and fox den. The energy, like brew, stirred up in a cauldron, concocted, invoked from a coven of fairy, landing, stretching, hitting the mark, the air pulses as music plays. And for a moment, all that ever was, ever could be, is. And you see the mightiness that is you, 100% light, you, able to create and hold magic.
Mind, the box that defines, confines your seeing, reacting to trigger, programs running, downloading chemistry, feelings, that which we call experience, life. Which is not reality, only the mind’s idea, the equivalent of. Beyond the mind, the lie of, the fear of, that tiny little box at the top of your psyche, holding you hostage, beyond all that is life. That which disturbs, interrupts, disrupts, scares you, RUN toward it, push through, lean in and get the fuck out. Because the only way around is through, the ring of fire, the murder of crows, the abyss. Jump! Find a bigger a box, an expanded you. JUMP!!!!
Thank god for ashes, phoenix rising, the burning through to 100% light that we are. No more victim-villain-savior. That old worn out game. Victim powerless, villain power hungry and savior, well you all know Clark Kent, kind of a wimp unless he’s rescuing. What if we granted being-ness? What if despite the mis-take, the blindness, the moments of depravity, we forgave? What if a man who molested his daughter was also beloved, a mentor, a man of character? What if we forgave instead of villanizing? What if we loved until we healed? What if?